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Exactly a year and three months ago, I made a decision.
It was a long, grueling car ride to the station. Time stood still and I had a lot of time to reflect on what was happening, the choices I’ve made, my next move, etc. I wanted to cry but I wanted to be strong at the same time. My boyfriend was in a separate van and I was with a bunch of strangers who have gotten in trouble for the same thing, I assumed. I found some weird comfort in that and tried to converse with some of them to ease the stress a bit.
We arrived at the San Jose police station moments later and my heart dropped. I was getting asked questions about my health and if I was taking medications and had allergies, as if they were planning on keeping me there for a long time. My only concept of prison is what I’ve seen on TV and the movies, so I was scared for my life. “You don’t want to look like that when you go in there, they won’t like it”, a cop said looking at my rather skimpy outfit. I was handed a faded orange shirt and grey sweat pants, both too big for me but I gladly put them on.
I took my mug shot and sat in a chair handcuffed waiting on my paperwork to be processed, and I hear the door open and I look quickly to finally see my boyfriend again. He was looking straight at me through thick glass with apologetic eyes, as if this was his fault. They took him away to the men’s side before we could mouth words to each other. This wasn’t his fault; I just wish I could tell him that.
I was finally placed in a cell with five other girls, three of which were arrested at the same event for something similar. I got along pretty well with all of them, surprisingly. We were in a small containment room for hours, it was hard not to talk and find some common ground with these girls. We bonded over stale peanut butter sandwiches and game plans on how we were going to tell our parents what happened. We are all still really good friends to this day.
Nine hours passed and my name was finally called, I was asked to change out of my prison clothes, my stuff was given back to me and I was led out of the station. I walked outside and it was dark, cold, and scary. I finally see the one person who can make it all better, I ran straight into my boyfriend’s arms and cried for the first time since the events have transpired. He bailed me out with his own money, and he wouldn’t stop apologizing for what has happened.
I made a conscious, stupid, adult decision. I wasn’t forced into anything and I take full responsibility for it. My life has been turned completely upside down, the unavoidable discussions with my family, my dream of being a nurse has been put on hold, countless court dates, community service hours, drug diversion classes, all because I decided to sneak some drugs into an event. Obviously, I now realize that nothing is worth all of this. Needless to say, I am never going to do anything even remotely close to being as careless as that. I’ve learned my lesson and now I just want my life to be back to normal. I want to live a stress-free, fun life, hopefully as a nurse, hopefully with the love of my life, for a very long time.